The on and off again love and attention given to children by narcissists flood their brains with dopamine. Dopamine is a powerful ‘feel-good’ neurotransmitter that affects the pleasure center of our brains. Indeed, children become addicted to always seeking rewards from their narcissistic parents because intermittent reward sets off a cascade of chemical reactions in their brains.īiochemically, the brains of narcissistic victims release copious amounts of oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, cortisol, and adrenaline that are released during trauma. Intermittent reinforcement by narcissists hooks children’s brains into bonding with them, much like a gambler gets hooked by a game of chance. Intermittent reinforcement also leaves the children to settle for the small crumbs of love they occasionally receive. This intermittent reinforcement leaves the children of narcissists perpetually seeking their abuser’s approval. ![]() In a home where one or both parents are narcissistic, the parent practices a pattern of cruel withholding of love mixed with random acts of affection and reward. Trauma Bonding and Intermittent Reinforcement The trauma bond is extraordinarily strong, and few are the people who can break it without professional help. These adults feel great empathy and protective of their parents, even knowing what happened to them in childhood. Like with Stockholm syndrome, adult children of narcissists have become trauma bonded. While children of narcissists are not legally held as prisoners, they are incapable of escaping the circumstances under which they live. People living under the circumstances of punishment and reward develop empathy, sympathy, and love for their incarcerator. Stockholm syndrome includes symptoms that occur when a person is held hostage or as a prisoner. This treatment creates a powerful emotional bond that is extremely hard to shake, like what happens in Stockholm syndrome. The Trauma BondĪ trauma bond occurs because of consistent and ongoing cycles of abuse with an intermittent reinforcement of reward. The list above does not begin to cover the ways narcissistic parents can harm their children.
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